Recuerdos
by homesickdelko
Summary: Different EC drabbles(all oneshots) I find myself writing at 2am after I get home from work that I've been meaning to upload. They range through out different parts of their relationships, all oneshots. I'll probably add more smaller fics that are oneshots here as a new chapter as time goes on. Hope yall like .
1. Need

It was when she'd gotten out of interrogation with Ryan that she started running. They interviewed a mother, well a soon to be mother, who's significant other had recently been killed in a drive by, shot in the head and the chest, his life taken before he had a moment to realize it. They'd sat her down, refered to him as her boyfriend, and notice the way her hand cradled her belly. The woman broke down and Calleigh had to hold her while her body shook sob after sob after sob at the news. She'd fallen to the floor, knees at her chest while she cried and cried and cried against Calleigh's shoulder.

"I never told him I loved him," she sobbed, "we weren't even together." She tried taking a moment to calm the hiccuping of tears, and Calleigh had an overwhelming familiarity with the situation.

"He doesn't know," she stuttered, attempting to control her sobs, "about the baby. He doesn't know."

Calleigh held her, rocked her and rubbed her and told her she was so sorry. The young woman asked to go, and neither Calleigh nor Ryan objected. She helped her up, told Ryan to take her to her car, and bolted out of interrogation. The situation was all too familiar, uncomfortably so. He was dead, they weren't together though couldn't necessarily be referred to as "just friends," and despite whether or not he knew, she'd never gotten the chance to tell him how she felt. And now, she never will, and she'll never know if he _knew,_ never know if he had been able to read through her walls and see the truth, despite the words stuck in her throat. He'd never _heard_ her say that she loved him, never _heard_ the words, and now he ever will. The thought made Calleigh shudder and caused her feet to move that much faster.

She raced down the halls, not caring who saw her, not acknowledging anyone except to offer a small apology, and a polite "excuse me," while she ran passed them. She checked the break room and the locker room, checked DNA and trace, but there was no sign of him. She glanced around while she made her way to the evidence lab, recalling seeing him return earlier from a scene in Overtown, and sure enough he was there, alone, collecting samples from the trash bag that was used for a body dump he'd been working on with Natalia.

She raced her way inside, and before Eric knew what was happening, before he had a moment to say hello, hell before he even put down his swab, she was kissing him, her arms around his neck, and she could tell he was startled, tell he wasn't sure what to do. But she was determine for him to figure it out, so she kept kissing him and kissing him, until his lips met hers and his one hand, despite being gloved, found it's way to caress her cheek, while the other made it's way into her hair. He'd been startled by the abruptness of it- one minute he he'd been swabbing repulsive decomp juices, and then the next he was tangled in her, surrounded by her. The feel of her hands around his neck, the taste of her lips on his- something he'd fantasized about for years- her scent was intoxicating, the passionate rend and sew of their lips addicting. The kiss was searing and breathtaking and needy, but right now she didn't care. Right now she needed Eric to know, because life was way too short, and she didn't want to finally kiss him and tell him she loved him over his cooling body in autopsy. Just the thought made Calleigh clutch at his collar so tight he thought his shirt might rip, knew it would leave a mark on his neck but he frankly didn't give two shits about that, nor did he really have the brainpower to actually think about anything other than the feel of her, the smell, the taste of her. Tangled within one another, the both of them forgot where they were until they heard a couple claps begin to echo around them, which quickly turned into an applause while Ryan yelled out " _finally."_

Eric broke the kiss looking at her a bit confused and dumbfounded, and before he had a moment to process, she kissed him again, soft and sweet, her arms falling along his back, standing as high as she could on her tippy toes and murmuring that she loved him, and then turning and leaving, refusing to make eye contact with any of their coworkers, a red tint of embarrassment flushing over her skin, leaving Eric in the evidence lab, confused and just well... confused. He glanced at who was watching, Walter and Ryan wore smirks, Natalia also a bit confused, everyone else waiting for Eric to speak, to move, to do anything that showed he'd comprehended the past minute or so because that'd been something he'd fantasized about for years.

His lips were swollen, his shirt ajar and his hair a mess, all from a 60 second encounter he swore didn't actually happen. An encounter he'd only ever dreamed of. But by the looks of his co workers, by the way their jaws dropped or their lips curved in a playful smirk, he was certain it did. And he must of looked stupid because he was standing there trying to figure out how the hell to react to that, when she'd left as quick as she'd come. He was still trying to wrap his brain around the whole thing, but he didn't have much time to think about it, because suddenly Walter yelled that "his ass better go and follow her," and that is precisely what his ass did, hastily put up the evidence he'd been processing, quickly labeled and initialed all the samples, and rushed after her, following her path down the hall, praying that it lead to some sort of future with her.

He wanted to wake up with her in his arms, wanted to feel her head against his chest while they watched a movie or read the paper or just sat with one another, wanted to match the rhythm of her breathing with his, wanted to touch and feel and caress every patch of cream skin he could find. He needed to feel the warmth of her again, needed to taste her again, needed to finally just _be_ with her. She'd been the one to open the door, the one that had a big bright sign that said "what Eric and Calleigh could be," the one where their relationship was lifelong, where he was able to wake up to her in his arms, wake up to her smell and the lulling rise and fall of her chest. He needed her, _she_ made it okay, _she_ made the move, _she_ left him startled with a breathtaking kiss, left him confused and unsure and in euphoric awe.

He ran after her, not giving a second thought to those around him, all he could think about was her, and he'd only kissed her, but he needed all of her. Right here. Right now. Forever.

He loved her, and she loved him.

It was a simple concept the two had undoubtedly over complicated over the past decade or so, living in fear of breaking their friendship, fear of losing what they had. But she needed him, needed to be with him because she couldn't just stand around and wait anymore. And hell, he's always needed her, everyone knew it too, and Calleigh, somewhere inside of her she did, but she was too afraid to believe it, too afraid that she was wrong, too afraid she'd misread him, despite the fact he'd told her she knew him too well.

But she knew, now he knew; she needed him for now and forever. And he, well, he's always needed her. They've always needed each other, and now, all thanks to an impulsive kiss that the two were still trying to wrap their brain around, they had each other, in every single aspect of one another. Their need finally fulfilled.


	2. Mistletoe

They were acting like teenagers, like teenagers that just barely entered the age where one was classified as a teen. And maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the holiday season, but either way they were acting like 7th graders, and maybe for the time being, that was okay.

It'd been Valeras idea to have the annual "Crime Lab Christmas party," at the crime lab. They'd usually go out to eat or follow the department and where they hosted their annual charity event, but this year they stayed at the lab, surrounded by the _oh so festive_ test tubes and mass spec and chemicals that they were all a little too buzzed from eggnog to remember the full names of. But there were cookies and secret santa, so remembering the formula for _Ethylenediaminetetraacetate_ wasn't of any use for them at the moment. Everyone was gathered around in their own little groups, Ryan and Walter talking about some annual football game, Valera and Nat bonding over how men are completely useless creatures, Horatio listening to Frank talk about his disappointment with his alcoholic ex-wife still being able to have their three kids Christmas morning, Travers talking to a new intern about his life in London, and the rest of the techs scattered around the room, sipping their hot cocoa or eggnog, talking about meaningless things they won't remember in the morning.

But it seemed two CSI's were missing, both of them calling minutes apart saying they were running late- Eric helping his sisters wrap the final presents for Christmas morning and Calleigh dealing with her useless father- despite the holiday he just wouldn't give her a break. Valera knew Calleigh would be tense, she always was during Christmas, they had to _convince_ her to even come to the MDPD party last year, so Valera had a trick up her sleeve, wanted to make sure Calleigh could, for once, have a special Christmas. She signaled Ryan and Walter to come over to her, "did you get it?" Natalia asked.

"Yea, yea don't worry, I got it right here," he said blandly though with a smile, walking to the counter and pulling out a mistletoe from one of the drawers.

Valera scowled at him, "we're in _Miami,_ you could have _at least_ gotten a real one."

"Hey," he said with a laugh, his hands up, "I didn't want it to die alright? That wouldn't be very romantic, and besides I'm from _Boston,_ sure we have trees but they're there for _decoration,_ not for me to go hunting for parasitic shrubs."

"Oh lighten up Wolfe," Walter said slapping his shoulder slightly then whispering to Natalia and Valera, his hand blocking his mouth from Ryan, "he's just in a bad mood because this chick turned him down when he asked her to get a drink," he murmured, knowingly loud enough for Ryan to hear.

"You know I can hear you Walter," Ryan replied blandly while Walter gave him another pat on the shoulder.

"Don't feel too bad Ryan," Natalia smirked, "that mistletoe you were complaining about might actually work for you."

"Yea Ryan," Valera agreed, "that knew intern's been scoping you out since she started," she nodded to the partially new intern that Travers was talking to.

"I think she's more interested in British guys."

"Nah, she keeps glancing at you," Walter smirked, watching her through the corner of his eye, "besides, I think she knows Travers is gay. And I think she's more interested in people that throw British tea in the harbor, and that would be you," Walter smirked patting his shoulder, "my Boston friend."

"Shit," Natalia murmured looking at her phone then to Ryan, "quick hang the mistletoe, they're on their way up."

Ryan nodded, did an about face turning towards the opened break room door, mistletoe in hand, and before he could realize he wasn't tall enough to hang the plant, Frank called out to him, "Wolfe what the hell are you doing?"

Ryan smirked, "It's not for _you,_ Frank."

"Well then, who the hell is it for?"

Horatio smiled at him, "I think you know, Frank."

"Wolfe," Frank said, pausing to glance between the younger man and Horatio, "let me give you a hand with that," he walked over to the door, taking the mistletoe and tacking it above the doorframe.

"You know I could have reached that," Ryan said.

Walter snorted, "yea, maybe in a few years. Come on, they're coming."

Ryan glared but ventured back to the other side of the break room, and sure enough the elevator dinged, while Eric and Calleigh, together, made their way down the hall. Everyone in the room got suddenly quiet, which the two noticed once, causing them both to halt right at the threshold between the hallway and the break room, conveniently beneath the mistletoe.

"Whats going on?" Eric asked, looking suspiciously at his co workers(whom, he noted, looked completely guilty).

Everyone glanced up to the top of the doorframe, absolutely nothing subtle about that, and both Eric and Calleigh's eyes followed, making contact with the green shrub hanging guiltily above them.

"Why look at that," Travers called out with a smile, "it looks like the two of you are standing under a traditional Phoradendron."

Eric and Calleigh looked at eachother awkwardly, then back to their coworkers, and before either had a moment to object, Walter smiled at them, "you two are familiar with the tradition, right? You get caught under the mistletoe around Christmas, you kiss the person caught under there with you"

"Don't think about finding an excuse Delko," Ryan smirked at them.

Eric glanced nervously to Calleigh, searching for a reaction, because well, if their coworkers thought they had to trap them under a mistletoe for them to get going at it, then their co workers were apparently clueless of their current relationship and the depth it went. And the topic of "coming out" had been one they'd brushed on maybe once or twice, usually in bed at the end of the day while both were on the edge of sleep, but that was as far as it went. And they both knew the labs lack of knowledge of their relationship was because it was Calleigh's call, maybe not outwardly so, but Eric knew that she wasn't ready, and Eric also knew that he wouldn't breathe a word until she was okay with it. And now... Well... now they were trapped and had a decision to make, there was no way out of this one without those around them getting some answers that's for damn sure.

Everyone was watching them, and that in turn made both of them uncomfortable, but also made both of them feel obligated. So Calleigh turned and faced Eric, and ironically, before _he_ even had a moment to realize what was happening, both her arms laced behind his neck and she was kissing him soft and subtle, a gentle press and slide of lips while his hands skeptically made their way to her hips.

She pulled back and smiled at him, and then went back for one more quick peck before pulling away, her pale skin growing red with lust and embarrassment, but she figured what the hell, hiding was useless anyhow. He just looked at her, his one hand staying rooted on her hip, the other sliding up to cup her cheek with a smile before pulling her forward for one last, quick brush of lips and then wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a hug, her head on his chest. They were completely entranced, lost in the moment, and not just the feel of one another but the feel of having that weight of hiding from your friends completely gone, and to both of their embarrassment, ironically, forgot that they happened to be at the crime lab... in the break room... with all of their coworkers watching the two of them. And it wasn't until Walter broke the peaceful silence that they become aware of their current location, "ay love birds," he smirked and Ryan picked up after him, "we're uh, still in the lab."

The two opened their eyes and looked around, both equally embarrassed, but they didn't have much time to focus on it because the next thing they knew Valera was speaking, "go home, spend Christmas together," she grinned, then reached into her purse, "and I was your secret santa," she tossed a wrapped box at Eric, who, shockingly caught it, though the wrapping paper tore slightly when it stumbled in his hands. He peeped through the slit to the box, and quickly went wide eyed, looking at Valera with complete and utter embarrassment, mortified would be an understatement. Calleigh glanced to him, then to the box, and saw through the slither of the tear the very recognizably well known logo of a trojan man about to enter battle and she blushed so red and glared at Valera, that she didn't care if everyone thought(okay fine _knew_ ) they were up to Naughty Christmas Adventures had they left then, because being tossed a box of condoms from a Secret Santa that they worked side by side with everyday was significantly more embarrassing than just, well, almost _anything._

Her face still significantly crimson, Calleigh gave one last glare at Valera before glancing at Eric, grabbing his hand, and turning on her toe, Eric still trying to process what was happening while he clutched the unopened box of condoms. But Calleigh's embarrassment was enough to have him following her, and he hoped, at least, that despite her mortification at the situation, they were going to have Naughty Christmas Adventures. It'd be a shame to let that box go to waste after all.

When the two were out of earshot Walter glanced to Valera, "The hell did you get them Max?"

Her answer was both nonchalant and blunt while she reached for a cookie, "box of condoms."

Ryan whistled low, glancing in the general direction to see that the two were gone, "I think they're both a little too embarrassed to be using it tonight, and Calleigh doesn't really seem like the type to go down on someone after a first kiss."

"That wasn't their first kiss," Travers stated, making his way beside Max to grab a cookie, "and they've been going at it for months," he paused to select a sugar cookie cut out as santa, "but I do agree with you, however Ryan, that they won't be going down on one another tonight, though I'd think their sheer exhaustion from these past few cases will kick in before the snickering embarrassment."

Ryan nodded at him, "right," he said blandly and a bit sarcastic, "thanks for your keen investigative skills."

"You're welcome," he smirked, and before the room could go quiet, Frank spoke, "let's just hope there ain't gonna be no Little Delko's running 'round here, or some Calleigh babies in ballistics, we don't have room for anymore of them."

Natalia smirked, "I think that was the point of Max's present."

They all laughed, little did they know that Valera's present was a bit too late...


	3. Epithelials

It was very simple. Very, very simple. It started with soda and his lunch and the laws of physics and gravity. Very simple(at least to scientists anyways). He was in the breakroom, minding his own business, chewing on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while washing down the thick peanut butter with a swish of diet soda. But then Valera accidently tripped over his chair and elbowed him, his chemical cocktail spilling all over his nice white shirt, seeping through past his tanktop where he felt the coldness of his drink touch his skin.

She apologized and offered to buy him another soda while he went to change. He made his way from the breakroom to the locker room, tacky dress shirt wet and stained. It must have been a sign, he figured, Calleigh had always hated this shirt anyways.

Inside the locker room he was met with Ryan, who offered him an arched brow, "what'd you do?"

"Valera," Eric explained, opening his locker and making sure he had his spare shirt(which was equally as tacky, if not more so) hidden somewhere in the depths of forgotten things, "she tripped over me, she owes me a soda," he explained. It was small talk, and Eric didn't really think one way or another about anything when he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled off his tank top, but Ryan's eyes stayed on him. Eric had a nice torso, abs and muscles and contours, the whole nine yards, so people usually stole a glance or two, but a very confused Ryan stayed watching him, specifically his back, his eyes questioning instead of admiring.

Eric tilted his head painfully oblivious and stared at Ryan, his lips turning into a questionable frown, "Ryan?"

"You uh," he smirked, "you uh didn't tell me you had a new girlfriend."

And now it was Eric's turn to stare at him in question and study the younger man, "what?"

"She's a little kinky? I figured you might like it rough here or there," he said pausing to smirk, "but _damn Delko,_ your back looks like you were clawed at by a gator."  
It was then that Eric remembered the past few nights. They'd been a little rough, but it had just been really really good hot-steamy-toe-curling-limb-numbing sex. He'd uh, _discovered_ a couple of new pleasure points that _she'd_ yet to discover, and well... his back seemed to pay the price. But he hadn't minded though, not a damn bit then, and well, it _did_ kind of turn him on, and once she discovered that, she made sure to utilize it.

"Who's the lucky girl that's got your epithelials under her nails?" he asked, his smirk growing while he crossed his arms, "those her teeth marks too?" he continued, nodding to the small purple bruises below his collarbone and along his shoulders. At that observation Eric had to admit that "a little rough" was a bit of an understatement, but they'd just been doing a lot of _investigating_ lately.

"I uh-" Eric was incoherent and lost for words, though of course Wolfe couldn't resist his continuous taunting, "you know, i figured Calleigh like it rough, but _damn._ "

Eric was still lost for words while he stared at Ryan completely dumbfounded, vaguely aware that he was gaping at the other man like a fish out of water, but his response only resulted in Ryan smirking a bit wider, "well," he closed his locker to look at Eric, "glad to know that her lungs are feeling better and your head isn't bothering you as much," he walked past him, patting him on his shoulder, this was something he would never _ever_ let Eric live down.

He laughed a little at the way Eric tensed under his touch, "Relax Delko, I'm not gonna tell anyone. I'm just happy to know that the two of you have finally fallen into place with one another," another pat and his smirk widened with amusement, "also glad to know the real reason why the two of you have been late from time to time."

With an amused sigh he left Eric standing in the locker room, shirtless(and once the confusion somewhat subsided he tugged on a shirt before anyone else could see him) and mortified. Neither Eric nor Calleigh were sure when and how to break the news to their fellow co-workers that they were involved with one another, but now Eric wasn't sure if he could even tell anybody anything with Wolfe standing there with that knowing smirk. It was always Ryan, wasn't it? Though, Eric had to be honest, it's better than Natalia or Valera or Horatio. Natalia would be... uncomfortable, Valera would tell everyone, and Horatio would well... be difficult to read. So at least with Ryan, he could expect the sarcasm and the teasing, and know it wouldn't go any further than that. But still, neither he nor Calleigh would ever be able to live this down. He figured though, it was payback for the shitty way Eric had treated him when he'd first come to CSI. And knowing that he at least wouldn't tell anyone and would only have to deal with his knowing smirks, Eric figured the two were now even.


	4. 2:12

He woke with a start, his head aching, tired and scared. He felt his heart pounding through his chest, felt the pain in his head and his leg, pain that pulsed violently against his skin, scratching and stabbing and burning and it brought him back to that moment during the shoot out only a few months before. It was in that moment that he thought he was going to cross over to the other side, it was in that moment he realized that he'd left so much unsaid, that he hadn't fully given Horatio his blessing with his sister, that he hadn't apologized to Ryan about how he'd treated him when he first came to the lab, that he hadn't told Calleigh that he loved her. And despite the time that has passed since the shooting, he still hasn't figured out what scares him more, the fact that he could have died, or the fact that he could have died and have left so much in silence. Either way, it scared him, his breathing became rapid, he felt like his chest was caving in, like the walls of life were toppling over him and crushing him into nothing. He felt like he was suffocating, felt like he couldn't breathe let alone move, no matter how hard he tried.

It was like he was stuck inside his body, trapped and forced to stare at the dark ceiling, unable in anyway to save himself. He felt tears, their warmth falling down his cheeks while he stared into the darkness, unable to move, unable to comprehend that he was alive, that he was here now.

But then he felt her, felt her warmth by his side, felt her hand running along his shoulder, heard her voice whisper that he was okay, that he was here, that she was here and it was a bad dream, which made him feel utterly ridiculous because he's a grown man not a five year old that stayed up too late to watch a PG-13 movie.

He felt her lips brush his cheek, and then suddenly, she was gone. The bed had dipped, her warmth no longer there, her smell the only thing lingering. But then he heard the rattling of pill bottles, heard her two pills fall into her hand, and felt her stroke his cheek while urging him to sit up just enough so she could feed him his pills.

She sipped him water to wash down the Xanex, her hand never leaving him. She put the glass down and glanced at the clock, red lights gleaming "2:12" stared at her. She gave his hand a squeeze before quickly shuffling around to the other side of the bed, curling herself under his sheets and pulling him so now this time, she was holding him. His head was pillowed on her breast, their hands intertwined while she stroked random patterns through the prickle of his hair, avoiding the still healing incision where a partial bullet lay lodged in his brain.

His breathing evened and she left a kiss at the crown of his forehead and whispered, "you're safe now," before tightening her grip on him and holding him, stroking patterns along his hair, over his skin, while his muscles began to loosen and the tense fist her fingers were laced with went slowly went limp. He felt silly, considering she was holding _him,_ brushing sweet kisses over _his_ forehead, rubbing her hands along _his_ skin in an attempt to comfort him. He always felt like he needed to be the strong one, that nobody needed to take care of him except himself, let alone Calleigh. But it was different now. He needed her, needed her now more than ever before, and Calleigh reassured him that it was okay. And he quickly came to terms with it and let her start taking care of him.

She waited for his breathing to even, for his body to go limp around hers while he curled himself closer to him, and when she figured he'd fallen into a sedative induced sleep, she let herself begin to doze off, though never too much, just incase he might need her. And she was going to be there for him, always, forever, no questions asked. Even if it was 2:12 am and they had to be at work by 8. She loved him, would do anything for him, and she just hoped that he knew it too.


	5. Spontaneous

She's always been a morning person, always believed that productivity was key. Always knew she had to get something done that day, and refused to allow procrastination get the best of her.

He, on the other hand, was not. He liked his sleep, liked it best with her head against his chest. He liked the comfort of his bed, the warmth of her on his side, the feel of her hair spewed across his chest. The vanilla scent of her hair surrounding him and intoxicating him.

He'd never been a morning person, especially with Calleigh latched onto his side. But, despite Calleigh historically being a morning person, when in bed with Eric, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, the feel of his fingers along her spine, hearing the beat of his heart, she very easily became an afternoon person. Just the feel of him lulled her to sleep. She felt safe, protected, and with that she let herself indulge in a few extra hours of shut eye that she'd hadn't taken in years. And Eric well, despite his historical love of sleeping in far past what Calleigh had once called a reasonable hour, he somehow had become a morning person. Not because he wasn't tired, not because he felt like being productive, no. Eric had become a morning person merely because he loved watching Calleigh sleep. He found her quite adorable. She snored just the slightest bit(though she always claimed, with a smile, that he was a complete liar), and she talked in her sleep too. It was when he'd heard her mumble his name once, hardly audible while she snuggled up closer against him, that he became accustomed to watching her sleep. He'd stroke her hair, her sides, her back. He'd leave soft kisses along her hairline while he watched her, realizing he couldn't be any more in love with her than he was in that moment, watching her sleep curled against him, feeling her breath fall in unison with his.

So no, originally Calleigh had not been a morning person, but she found, since starting a legitimate relationship with Eric instead of the beating around the bush with the whole "friends with benefits" ordeal, that many things she'd once been had changed.

Small things, she wasn't as obsessed with her cleanliness, she wasn't as persistent as she once was, she didn't spend all hours of the day glued to the ballistics lab, sometimes she'd even let herself spend the weekend in bed with Eric, doing nothing except _being_ there with him, yes small things, but big parts of who she was. She changed, she fell in love and became a little less incessant with the small things and a little more spontaneous with Eric. Eric unlocked a part of her that she had always had, but wouldn't let unfold, the part of her that wanted to sleep away the day or leave out a few dirty dishes or postpone the laundry a day or two. He'd been able to bring out the free side of her, and she absolutely loved it. She loved not feeling so rigid and so and immutable, loved feeling free and at leisure to stay in bed with Eric and blow the day away, to forget about necessary tasks and to just be. To be with him, in his arms, surrounded by his smell and taste and warmth. She loved being apart of him, loved feeling him conjoined as one with her, loved feeling him inside of her, everything that was him leaving her drowning, with absolutely no desire to find air. She wanted to curl up inside of him, wanted to be surrounded by him and only him. The open depth of their current relationship may have made her a bit spontaneous- hell, she'd kissed him in the lab, it was subtle, random, and surely caught him off guard, considering she was always certain to keep her private life, well... _Private._ But there was nothing random about what went on after that one kiss, nothing random about the way his hands moved over her, the way she mouthed kisses across his chest. There was nothing random about their feelings, they'd been there for the longest, but she was the one to put up the boundaries, the one to build walls around him because she knew she loved him but couldn't bare the thought of not being with him.

And maybe it was the way he looked at her one day at a crime scene, or when he steadied her when she almost tripped in her new high heels, either way, she honestly couldn't pinpoint it to one event, she'd taken a chance and let her walls down, let Eric in, and she'd never felt so whole. Sometimes you need to be spontaneous, it opens the door for opportunity, for things to happen that were never, truly random.


	6. What's Been Missing

It was after he got out of the hospital that she took him home and kissed him, tears running down her cheeks because she realized how fragile life is. They'd already lost Speedle, their best friend, their snarky coworker with fun wit that everyone missed so so dearly.

She'd lost Hagen, despite the stretch of time between the end of their relationship and the end of his life. She'd lost her father, maybe not in the sense of physical life and death, but she'd lost her father to alcoholism long before she understood the concept of life and death.

And now, now she'd almost lost Eric, and despite the amount of death they deal with on a day to day bases, despite the mothers they have to hold while they reveal the news about their son or daughter, despite all the autopsies and crime scenes, the concept of death doesn't really hit you until someone you love has fallen through the fragility of life. That's when it breaks you. Everyday the underlying concept is routine, someone is dead, who? They don't know yet, Why? They'll find out. It's always a straight shot, gather evidence, process and interrogate, and try your best to keep your emotions on the sidelines. But then sometimes, death throws a curve ball and hits straight for _you_ , defying the well known path you've familiarized yourself with for years.

She grieved with Eric when Speed passed, Eric held her when Hagen went too, but who would be there if Eric had followed them?

Calleigh didn't want to think about it, it hurt way too much, so instead she tangled his fingers with hers and pressed their mouths together while she worked to memorize the feel of him, the taste of him, the smell of him, just in case that one day, one day when she was still around, he wouldn't be.

Trembling fingers reached for the buttons of his shirt but the shaking of her hands rendered the task impossible, and instead, Eric's one hand that was tangled in her hair reached down to her trembling one, lacing their fingers to match the other beside his chest. She felt his heartbeat and that should have warmed her, made her feel better to hear and feel the evidence that proved he was _alive,_ but instead she had to pull her lips from his, her head falling on his chest while her body trembled as she cried against him, and she felt bad for crying because _he'd_ been the one that got shot yet _he_ was the one holding and consoling her. And here she was, pulling him against the wall beside her front door and leaving sloppy, tear jumbled kisses on his mouth, his neck.

But he ran one hand along her spine and held her close, guiding her head to rest over his heart beat. His lips found her hairline and he breathed her in before mumbling into hair, "I'm still here."

Her sobs subsided but her tears continued to flow like little rivers, creating river deltas damp on his shirt. He kept the comforting stroke of his fingers along her spine, feeling how it calmed her, and when her voice was no longer trembling she found the energy to mumble a quiet apology against his chest.

"You never need to apologize to me, Calleigh," he said, his fingers stroking through her hair, a gesture that was ridiculously tender and something she simply was just not used to. She was used to... Jake... wanting to get his rocks and not worrying about simple sensual and tender touches. Hagen... Well... Hagan was a different story. He tried, but he wasn't the type to cuddle, the type to hold and rock and stroke and pull to his chest while she cried out all of her fear.

This was new: someone that didn't get tired of caring, someone that put up with her pillowing her head on his chest while he ran his fingers through the thin strands of her hair and ghosted fingers along her spine. Someone who, in essence, may have actually _enjoyed_ holding her, _enjoyed_ being with her during her rare times of weakness. And in retrospect it confused her, though in a good way. She simply just wasn't used to this, wasn't used to this kind of intimacy and closeness. And with her head still at his chest, his lips resting on her hairline, she realized that this has always been what's missing. Someone that held her when she needed to be held, comforted her and was actually there for her.

And she let her thoughts wander, and then she realized that it's simply _him_ that's always been missing.

She nudged his head away from hers so she could meet his eyes- she'd spent so much time mulling over the fact that he could have died, that she didn't pay much attention to the fact that he was still very much alive. This time when she kissed him, it was with relief and not fear, with reassurance and not unease. And by the way he smiled into the kiss, the way he pulled her closer and tangled his hands in her soft blonde locks, she could tell he felt the shift.

And despite that the idea that he could have died still ached at her, it was nothing but an idea, a hypothesis in a separate dimension. He _didn't_ die, he was still here, he was still around her and she was still caught up in his scent and and his touch and his breathing- everything that signified that he was still alive, still here. And as her fingers reached and undid the buttons on his shirt, as his fingers toyed with the hem of hers, reaching little by little to pull it up and over her head, his lips finding the curve of her neck, as she moaned his name she knew that he was what's always been missing.


	7. Unexpected Investigator

She thought no one was watching. Eric had yet to notice(granted he could be oblivious at times), though despite the two actually living together, it still blew past him. She figured Nat would notice, but if she did she stayed silent. And over the years Calleigh had gotten good at reading Natalia, and had she known the little secret she was hiding, she'd have brought it up in a subtle manner, hinted at it in some nonchalant way. But no, instead there was silence.

She'd have put money on Valera figuring out, but she'd also put money on Valera screaming her observation through the halls for everyone to hear. She wouldn't hide the fact that she knew, she wouldn't be subtle or passive about it, not a damn bit. No, Maxine would have brought it up without a moment's hesitation But no, instead when she picked up her DNA report, outside of normal lab chit chat, she was, again, left with silence.

She figured had Alexx been there she'd have noticed, at least. But Alexx no longer worried for those that were dead, thus her observation of interactions within the lab was nonexistent. She figured her female coworkers should notice, they were _investigators_ for Christ sake, but they didn't. And she found it odd that out of all people, he'd been the one to notice. He'd been watching, had been worried and a bit curious as to why she was running to the bathroom rather abruptly most of the time. He'd noticed she was bit more tired than usual despite gulping down god know how many cups of coffee. He noticed that, at times, she would grasp her side or her belly or her back, and even though she hid her wince of pain, he still saw it, started putting together the pieces.

After about the third time within a week he saw her running towards the locker room, Ryan had followed her, standing surreptitiously outside of the women's restroom, listening. He heard gagging and puking and coughing and a very annoyed groan, then the flush of a toilet, the washing of hands, and Calleigh had come out. Ryan had tilted his head at her, which Calleigh mirrored.

"Ryan?"

She expected sarchasm, but instead was greeted with genuine concern, "you've uh, been sick a lot lately Cal."  
She shrugged, attempted to play it off, "I guess food just hasn't been agreeing with me lately," she offered a small smile which Ryan returned.

"Well," he began, his hand on his shoulder, "Throwing up everyday, that sounds a little serious, don't you think?"

She sighed, too tired tired to keep up her front, and Ryan continued, "unless," he began, his hand sliding from her shoulder to her belly, "you and uh, Delko have been spending a lot of time together," he said with a smile, "leaving for the night and coming back in the morning together, one of the two of you in the same clothes as the night before, for the last couple of months."

He smiled at her and moved his hand from her belly to her shoulder, "I'm happy for you Calleigh."

She smiled back at him, "Eric doesn't know."

Ryan chuckled at that, "trust me, I know. Ever since the fire he's been more protective of you," he paused and smirked, "you know, making sure you don't run too much or you know, over exert yourself more than you normally do. If he knew you were..." he paused again, the word pregnant sat on the tip of his tongue but frankly felt a bit awkward and out of place, "...uh, _you know,_ with him none the less, he'd probably have you walking around in a space suit."

Calleigh smirked, "I know," she chuckled, "I guess I'm still trying to come to terms with it."

She found comfort in his easy going smile and the thoughtfulness of his words, "Calleigh whatever you may choose to do-" they both heard the creak of the locker room door opening, signaling the ending to their conversation, "-I know Eric will support you."

The end of Ryan's sentence, though innocent out of context to most, echoed through the locker room and into the ears of the one person, of course, that wasn't meant to hear it. But that's just the way life always goes.

"What will Eric do what with what?" he asked, appearing before them, his head tilted to the side slightly with a friendly smile, while he studied the two. He'd never seen Calleigh look nervous before, not in regards to him anyways, but at his appearance she had tensed just a bit, and Ryan's apprehension followed hers, though frankly his was less hidden.

Calleigh nervously tucked a stray piece of hair behind her left ear, glancing to Ryan for any guidance on how to respond, but he merely glanced at her with the same look of nerves, though his may have been more obvious, hers were more severe.

Eric frowned slightly with concern, moving towards her and reaching out to brush the top of his hand lightly over her forehead and down to her cheek, "you okay?"

His touch was ridiculously tender, and the way his hand cupped her cheek, brushing his thumb over her in soothing circles while he watched her with concern, was the final straw that proved to Ryan the depth that they'd let their relationship grown. He reached out to her immediately, which Ryan would expect, but he'd also expect Eric to pull away, considering he was all knowing of the boundaries she'd surround herself with, but he didn't, and she didn't pull away from him. In fact, Ryan was pretty sure he saw her move into his touch, and the scene warmed him.

Calleigh smiled to Eric, reaching a shaky hand to grasp his and lace, pulling him towards her just a little, almost enough for their bodies to be brushing.

Ryan wasn't exactly sure what to do or where to go or if he might be needed in giving Cal a little nudge with telling him, but he didn't have much time to worry about it because now Calleigh was talking.

"Ryan noticed how I've been running to the bathroom more than usual, he wanted to know if I were okay."

Eric nodded, trying to read her, "yea I noticed too but didn't want to say anything. I went looking for you in ballistics and when you werent there I figured you were in here. Whats going on Cal, you okay?"

She glanced to Ryan for a second before locking eyes with Eric, "yea," she smiled, taking the one hand that was laced with hers and bringing it to her belly, still taught and not noticeably different, but Eric felt that spark, "we're okay."

He watched her a bit confused, waiting for the realization to set in. But it did, and he saw her and him together, a little one between the two. He saw a future, a real future for them, and it made him smile at her, made him unlace their hands so he could cup her belly fully, made him completely forget Ryan was standing on the sidelines and leaned in to kiss her, though only a gentle press and slide of lips. One hand stayed cupping her belly, the other at her cheek while he held her gaze, smiling down at her, and then pulling her into a reassuring hug. She felt like this breath she'd been holding finally released, the fear and uncertainty of the situation was gone and replaced with comfort and hope and security. Ryan just smiled at the two, figured something like this would happen eventually, knew it was inevitable. Though, it took him by surprise that apparently nobody else knew, and Ryan couldn't help but ask.

"Eric, how did you not know?"

Eric glanced to him with a smile, "I was... suspicious. But you don't exactly go up to a woman and ask."  
Ryan smirked and Calleigh looked at him, "you got lucky," she smiled.

He shrugged with a smile, "maybe, I gotta get over to DNA, but congrats, the both of you," he looked to Eric, "yea yea don't worry I'll keep my mouth shut," and before leaving he couldn't help but add, "I don't think I'm the _only_ one here that got lucky," and he was out the door before Eric could inflict any bodily harm. Not that he would, in all honesty- he was far more comfortable being here, with Cal, hidden in the locker room with a tiny sea monkey mixture of the two growing inside her belly.

"Boy or girl?" Eric asked, his lips brushing at her hairline.

"It's too soon to tell," she smiled into his chest, snuggling into his embrace.

"I know," he replied, his hands tracing up and down her back, "but boy or girl?"

"Healthy," she looped her arms around his neck, his hands at her hips.

He dropped his lips to hers, though only for a second, before touching their foreheads and asking, "marry me? Maybe not today or tomorrow or next week or even next year if you're not ready, but one of these days, marry me?"

She smiled, pulling his lips back to hers, his one hand on her belly, her hand over his, and as she kissed him she whispered, "okay."


	8. Infinitely

AN: It's finals week so I'm sorry for lack of updates(But I'm almost done with my 1st semester of my sophomore year in college) so here's a little fluffy-fic. Also take note that I am in the midst of writing a really long EC fic, but I don't want to upload it until it's complete. But I seriously appreciate you guys reading my stuff, it means a lot. So this little fic is for Snowgirl 01 because she requested more. Also note I was lowkey stoned for half of this, but some editing made it okay.

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Eric Delko had been planning this evening long before he and Cal stumbled into bed together. Whether or not he'd find the balls to execute it was an entirely different situation. He'd always been dubbed "Mr. No-Hesitation-completely-confident ladies man" always had a grip of ease when with women. Yet when it came to Calleigh and asking her to dinner one late night in bed, for no real logical reason his heart was stuck in his throat, pounding hard with apprehension despite having her warm, nude, sweaty body curled against his side. But over time he learned to never expect anything in return regardless of who, especially after waiting so long to finally have her. Saying he was hopelessly in love with her would be an understatement. The love he felt for her was endless, continuously expanding more than he thought possible.

"Valentine's day," he'd murmured sleepily into her hair.

"Hmm?" She'd replied sleepily against his chest, balancing on the horizon of consciousness and the shadows of sleep, trying to make out his words. But her brain was fried, she was tired, and the energy she'd exerted the past hour or so didn't help suppress her drowsiness. How he was still awake enough to formulate a sentence, she couldn't tell you, but he was and she tried to listen.

"Dinner, can I take you?"

The fact that it was a question instead of a statement saddened her. And despite her exhaustion she could be blind, deaf, and in a coma and still be able to hear the apprehension in his voice. Of _course_ he could take her, she wouldn't want to go with anyone else. He had to know that though, right? But apparently she just didn't voice it enough.

She nudged his head to glance at him with a warm smile, tilting until her lips brushed his, "of course, who else would I wanna go with?"

He'd smiled, brushed his lips over hers, and then she deepened the kiss, cupping the back of his head and pulling him closer to her, tongue teasing against his lips until he opened for her. And she sighed, her hands stroking through his hair, his caressing her back, her sides, her belly. She knew it wasn't enough though, not for him to really be able to know the extent of her feelings. And she hated that, hated how unopened she was with him, was envious of his ability to let his guard down so easily and explain what he felt for her. She'd _always_ wished she wasn't so guarded, but it's hard to break a habit one's spent the better half of 30 years building, especially when more times than not her need for these walls was reinforced- by her family, by Jake, by some of their cases, by Eric's shooting and Speed's death. She'd just been hurt far too many time.

But Eric was here now, with her, holding her, surrounding her, yet she was still to afraid to let him in, to let him know. And it wasn't fair to him, for her to stay silent and hope he'd somehow understood how she felt. But he didn't, obviously, or else he wouldn't have asked it openly, giving her the chance to reject him. He'd have asked her, but he'd have known she'd say yes. And Calleigh's inability to express herself only put distance in their relationship, left him questioning and Calleigh hated that. Hated that he didn't know, didn't truly know how she felt. And it broke her heart, ironically. The walls she'd built to protect herself only ended up hurting her because they hurt _him,_ and that hurt more than everything she'd been blocking out over the past 30 years. And she was tired of hurting.

She tilted her forehead against his, their lips barely a breath away, their noses touching sweetly. And she smiled at him, a _real_ smile, a smile Eric felt like he hadn't seen from her for months, and it warmed him, but then she spoke, and it was her words that made him completely melt.

"I love you, Eric. _You._ Only you, infinitely. I'm sorry I- just sometimes it-"

And then he was shushing her, brushing his lips against hers sweetly, and she felt this relief wash over her, felt this weight lifted off of her, felt like she could breathe again, felt free.

"It's okay," he murmured, stroking his fingers tenderly through her hair, "don't be sorry. You've gone through a lot, Calleigh, enough to make anyone wary and guarded. There's nothing wrong with that."  
"I didn't want to push you away," she shifted, wanted to stroke some expanse of his skin for some reason, "that's what I was trying _not_ to do."  
"I know," he murmured sweetly, "and you didn't. I'm here aren't I?" she smiled at his smile, something she noticed she'd been doing a lot lately, whether at the lab, outside of work, or at home, his smile had a way of making her belly fill with butterflies like a teenager. But she found she was okay with that, because it was safe with him, because she trusted him completely. He'd been here with her, for her, regardless of the title of the role he played in her life. He was there through everything, through everyone, he's the only one that always has been.

"I love you," she murmured again, this time pulling him into a hug, "more than you know."

He brushed his lips against her hair, grateful for the step forward they were taking together. Because they'd be together, infinitely.


	9. New Years

AN: Set in season 7

Another new year was approaching at a rapid pace and it forced Calleigh to reflect and think about the past year despite her uncanny attempts to avoid it. Unsurprisingly Eric was the first person on her mind, but he'd been on her mind a lot lately. This entire year was a confusing play of emotions between her and Jake and Eric while she tried to wrap her brain around what she wanted. Which was stupid, she knew. She wanted to settle down, she wanted to have structure where she could come home every night to someone and have dinner and watch movies and not have to worry about whether or not they're gonna be there tomorrow and the next day and the next _month_. And she knew that's what Eric wanted, not just in general, but wanted it with _her._ And Jake... didn't want that, and Calleigh knew that that was something he'd probably never want. Being undercover was in his blood, seeking adventure was something he needed, and he put that above his feelings for Calleigh.

And Calleigh couldn't be with someone who was gone half the time and couldn't tell her where he was going, couldn't talk to her every night. It was too much, too draining. And she'd felt her feelings for Jake begin to dwindle away months before she'd read Eric's file. Jake was an old flame, nothing more, yet she was still letting that stand in the way of what she really wanted, _who_ she really wanted. And she wasn't going to do that anymore.

There were 12 more minutes left until the new year and the lab was gathered at a small bar in Doral, content with avoiding the big, loud festivities that came along with the new year in South Beach and off Biscayne. They'd had enough excitement for one year.

Calleigh glanced at Eric sitting beside her at the bar, Natalia on her other side while everyone was staring at the TV, watching the countdown for the ball to drop in New York.

She'd been tracing back, trying to figure out what caused the obvious shift in their relationship. But it'd always been intimate, they'd always had a deep bond. And she'd always pinpointed his shooting as what spurred up these feelings, but even before the shooting she found herself looking at him a little differently, found herself stealing a glance when he wasn't looking. Maybe it was after Speedle passed when she realized how fragile life is, when she realized it could have easily been him. And then Eric's shooting... it almost was him.

She wanted to make a resolution for herself, wanted to stop hiding her feelings, stop pretending, stop fighting _who_ her heart obviously wanted. It was tiring having to pretend she didn't love him and having to pretend he didn't love her. But she always knew somewhere deep inside her that he was the one she could see herself having a future with. And she wasn't going to keep fighting it. She reached for a pen in front of her that the bartender had left and grabbed a napkin. With 4 more minutes until the new year, she was going to do what should have been done years ago.

 _You're my new year's resolution._ _ **We're**_ _my new year's resolution._

She folded the napkin in half and slid it beneath his hand. He looked to her and she smiled warmly. With barely two minutes left until the new year, while everyone's attention was on the TV, Calleigh grabbed her purse and wiggled her way out of her seat as Eric glanced at her and glanced down at the note, reading the scribbled text.

 _You're my new year's resolution._ _ **We're**_ _my new year's resolution._

It took him a second to actually comprehend and put together in his head what she wrote and what it meant, but when he did he looked back and saw her waiting for him to find her at the door, and then walked outside into the Miami night. He immediately got up and followed her out the door. She was standing against the wall of the building beside the large glass window that overlooked the inside of the bar. She wore and almost shy smile as she watched him. And then he was running the few feet to her, pushing her back against the wall, his hands tangling in her hair while he pressed his forehead to hers, his eyes on hers. He was waiting for her to break the boundary, to cross the line between friends and lovers. Sure, she may have written the note, but Eric needed her to actually step over on her own, because he's been on the other side for _years._

She smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his neck, waiting. When she heard the familiar new year cheer from both inside the bar and outside, she tilted her head up, closing the distance, her lips finally brushing against his sweetly. And before she could pull away he deepened the kiss, but she expected that. She'd thought about this moment, thought about their first real kiss, for _years_. She'd played it over and over in her head and kept rewinding what ever scenario she dreamt up about them, but this was better than anything she imagined.

His lips were soft against hers, his tongue dipping into her mouth modestly, slow and sweet. And then he tilted his head away, and Calleigh really wasn't ready for that, but with her peripheral vision she caught everyone in the bar, both their coworkers and other people there, watching them through the window. Calleigh felt her cheeks grow crimson with embarrassment despite she being the one to initiate the encounter in the first place. But her arms were still around his neck and his forehead was still resting against hers, his eyes on her, looking for any sort of reaction.

She smiled shyly at him then glanced with her eyes to the window, "I think they noticed we're missing," she murmured, her arms dropping to wrap around his waist as she pulled back to look at him, her cheeks still burning. He cupped her cheek tenderly with a sweet smile that made her heart melt, his thumb running in slow circles on her lower lip. He didn't want to take his eyes off of her, didn't want to lose this moment, even if it was at the expense of some privacy.

He chuckled softly, "then I guess they won't come searching for us when we leave."

Her smile widened, her hand bringing down his on her cheek and lacing their fingers, "then I guess it's a good time to go," and she had to suppress a giggle because for some reason she was feeling rather playful. She tugged at his hand and they both turned their backs to the bar and started walking towards the warm night sky together, finally. And this was one resolution Calleigh was intent on keeping.


	10. Unspoken

**AN** This is a kind of weird fic, but I never felt like CBS did enough for John Hagen and it breaks my heart everytime I watch the jump from season 3 to season 4 bc they did nothing to honor him, not a funeral, and they didn't spend any time actually talking about it. A few years back I tried to kill myself, and despite Hagen being a fictional character, he deserves to have something out there that can explain and acknowledge his pain. It's set past the end of the show, because this revolves around Calleigh and her relationship with Eric and I wanted them to be together for a few years.

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Now something else that is not related to this fic, my Alias sequel is in the works, I just want to upload the beginning chapters all together, but I'm working on it! ^.^ Okay sorry this is so long, onto the fic.

Pain is something that can't be understood fully by someone who has not gone through it. Pain and the things it makes us do, the thoughts it puts in our heads, it makes us view pieces of the world through a lens that can only be understood by those that have been forced to look through it. It's easy to say to someone that everything gets better, that life goes on, and maybe from an outside perspective that is true, things may seem to be alright, but that's only part of the battle. The rest of it is what goes home with you, what keeps you up at night, what weighs your heart down and crushes your lungs and makes it almost impossible to breathe, that's the part people don't understand, and it's painful to have people around you, people you care about, tell you these things, tell you that you're loved, that things will get better, when you know they don't understand.

This pain eats you from the inside out until you're left to survive in a world where you feel worthless and broken and like you don't belong. You overthink every detail, every look someone gives you, every tone of voice, even something small like a vibe someone gives off, you overthink it when there's nothing to think about. And it kills you inside. Anything can trigger it, anything can push you over when you've got no skin left.

John Hagen wished people understood this, understood the pain he was in, understood what it was like for him, everyday trying to survive. But the only ones that understand what it was like to want to take your life are either dead or too afraid to speak up, so he'd spent time hoping that one of these days someone would come along and explain to Calleigh what he was feeling that day, but from what he could tell, no one had yet been able to explain his pain. But to understand _her_ pain, he knew she had Eric, and that made him feel the tiniest better. She deserved that, she'd gone through enough as it is. If someone was there to make her happy, to give her what he couldn't, then that's what matters.

Through a curtain of faded existence he watched Eric and Calleigh sitting together at a restaurant in a different world. It was valentine's day, he could tell, and the smile Calleigh gave Eric was one he'd never gotten the privilege of having, but the fact that she was smiling like that was what he cared about.

"You okay?" It took Hagen a moment to realize that he wasn't alone, Tim Speedle sneaking his way beside him while they both watched the two.

"Yea," He said, "just curious. Happy. For her, for them."

"Doesn't bother you at all?"

"No," he shook his head, "Not after what I put her through."

It was quiet for a moment, both he and Speed watching them smile and laugh from afar, watching Eric lace his hand with hers, watching her squeeze his and offer a sweet smile.

"Can I ask you something?" Speedle asked, a little hesitant, but Hagen nodded so he continued, "Why there? In front of her," Speedle shook his head, "You know it haunts her."

"I know," He sighed heavily, "I didn't... I just..," he shook his head, "I felt out of options, you know? I just... I stole evidence, I put a gun to her head," the way he paused was out of disgust at himself, and Speedle couldn't help but feel bad for him, "I... I couldn't walk anywhere without people knowing about Ray and looking at me solely as the detective with a dirty partner."

There was a small silence, a sympathetic one, and the lack of judgment Speedle was passing gave John the courage to keep on talking, "you ever have one of those days where nothing is working? Where literally everything gets worse with every second?"

"Yea," Speed nodded, he'd been feeling that way a lot during the few months before his death, feeling unhappy and tired and just... done with everything.

"Imagine feeling that every day, and everyday it keeps getting worse and worse," he paused for a moment, keeping his voice steady, "A few years back, before everything happened with Raymond, I'd been assigned a case about the murder of a popular high school senior. The type of guy you either hate or envy, every high school has one. This girl, Jay, was on the list of those with motive. When I interviewed her she told me that a few months before she'd tried to kill herself. When I asked her to be more in depth she told me she'd tried to kill herself in the bathroom at her high school," Hagen glanced to Speed, who just nodded encouragingly for him to continue.

"I asked her why there, somewhere she could easily be found, and she told me it was because it wasn't planned. She didn't go to school that day with a plan for suicide, but the day had just gotten worse and worse and suicide was on her mind months before her actual attempt."  
"Was it on your mind a lot?" Speed asked softly, empathetic.

Hagen nodded, "yea, overtime it just got worse and worse, I thought about it every night."  
Speedle gazed at Calleigh, she was so comfortable with Eric, absolutely no tension in her body and that was something unusual with Calleigh, she was always on guard, needing to protect herself in anyway. It took a lot for Calleigh to get so open and vulnerable, and it's no question that Eric was the mastermind behind that.

"You didn't walk into Calleigh's lab with the intent of pulling the trigger," Speed stated.

"I didn't, no. I was a lit fuse though, anything could have set me off, anyone. Jay had told me that there were 2 events that triggered her that day. The first one was the real trigger, the one that had lit the fuse, but what triggered her to go into the bathroom to hang herself, was small," he cleared his throat, an anxious habit he'd developed over time, "the main trigger had been that she failed her chemistry exam in her 1st period class, and then in her 2nd period, for some reason she felt this vibe that these kids sitting around her hated her, and it was small but it was too much," he reached Speedle's eyes for the next sentence, "she told me that she hadn't gone into the bathroom with the intent of hanging herself, she just didn't wanna be in class, but everything ended up crashing down and she undid her belt. It was impulsive but she felt like she was out of options," he let the rest of the sentence be left unspoken, and Speedle understood. John never meant to hurt anyone but himself, he'd just, in that moment felt like he had nothing left. He didn't think about how it would affect those around him, he'd just reached his breaking point and was... tired and done.

"What triggered it," he asked, "In that moment, was it something Calleigh said or...?"

"In that moment yes, but it wasn't the reason why."

"So... why then?"

Hagen sighed, wondering if Raymond was around him and Speedle, if he was caught in whatever this life and death limbo was that he and Speed seemed to be stuck in. He had mixed feelings about what he would tell Ray, about whether he should be angry at him for putting him through all of this, or sad that he'd fallen victim to a broken system. Both made his heartache and he was tired of hurting. But a part of him knew that cussing him out wouldn't change anything, wouldn't make him feel better, because it wasn't just him, it was everyone, it was the department and how they looked down on him like he was incapable and fragile.

He was a little fragile, but that was expected, he just hated being treated like a charity case or a fuck up, the latter being the majority of MDPD, people that didn't know him, and it was painful.

He hated that what pushed him over, both of his two triggers, were things said by people he cared for, because they weren't the ones keeping him up at night, they weren't the ones that made him want to curl into a ball and die, they just weren't there in the way he needed them to be, and that's not on them, he could never blame them for that, it just became too much.

"The main one was a convo between me and Horatio in a warehouse about Ray," he kept his eyes on Calleigh, replaying the conversation between he and Horatio over and over again.

" _John, I'm going to take it from here."  
John had scoffed and shook his head, hurt far deeper than Horatio could ever know, "Ever since Ray died you treat me like I don't know what I'm doing." _

_Horatio was careful when he spoke, "This is about to get messy and you deserve to walk away clean. So walk away."_

" _Brother I'll never be clean," he'd said it immediately, the reality of his words and the rawness in his voice, it was obvious how deeply that statement seemed to define him lately. And Horatio didn't know what to do or how to help him besides telling him the truth when John began to walk away._

" _Hey John," he paused, waiting for him to look back at him, "that's not true."_

 _He let out a long, heavy sigh, "I'll see ya." And the next time he saw him was in the morgue._

"Horatio didn't want me to work the case because it was going to be messy but, I don't know, this was about my partner, and I wanted on and I was tired of people thinking thinking that I was incapable. He was just trying to keep me safe but... I was tired of being seen as someone unable to do their job."

Speedle nodded, "and Calleigh...?" he asked quietly.

It was an interaction that brought him so much guilt he would do anything in his power to change what happened when he walked into her lab.

" _Everyone know's you're a great detective, John."_

" _Do you?"_

 _She'd hesitated before speaking, "I know how hard you work," She offered him a sad smile, "I would really love to be friends with you, John."_

 _Her words were genuine and the way he scoffed lightly made her heart ache._

" _The harshest thing a women can say to a man."_

 _His bluntness caught her off guard and she ducked her head, having eye contact making it that much harder for her heart to take, "Look, why don't I pack up the evidence and we go grab a cup of coffee in the breakroom," she turned and set down the gun she was test firing and offered another heartbreaking smile, "I'll just be a minute."_

 _As she walked past him, Hagen looked down at where she was test firing and realizing that he had nothing left anymore, with life, with Calleigh, with being a cop. It became too much for him to bear, and he couldn't find anything else to stay for. He apathetically, with a bit too much force, pulled his badge from his hip, brushing his thumb over it anxiously and setting it down beside the testfire headphones and the paper she was logging information on. He pulled his gun from it's holster, looking down at it, apathetic, and with barely a moment's hesitation, the familiar click of a cocked gun filled the room. Calleigh recognized it immediately, the same click from the gun that had been at her head just a few hours earlier, the same click that made he truly wonder if she'd make it to tomorrow. In slow motion she turned to see him pushing the muzzle behind his ear and to his skull, and without a moment's hesitation, the sound of gunfire filled her lab, and she watched his body fall to the floor, to where she was just standing moment before , blood pooling around him, and it took everything in her to not fall down with him._

"She said she really just wanted to be my friend, grab a cup of coffee," he shook his head, his voice going hoarse and Speedle watched as a tear fell down his face, taking a moment to steady his voice and try to keep himself together, but it destroyed him, "It wasn't because I had feelings for her and she didn't have them for me, it wasn't because I wanted to hurt her for not wanting me, it was just one more rejection and I just... I couldn't handle it, I felt like everyone hated me, like I was _that guy,_ a cop that no one saw as a cop," he looked at Speed, "I became a cop to help people, and nobody thought I was strong enough to do that, no one thought I capable of it, and maybe they're right. And if that's true... I have no purpose, no reason to be here."

Hagens voice shook a little with guilt and embarrassment because everyone thought he killed himself over being rejected by a girl, but that's nowhere near the reality, at that point anything could have triggered it, and inside he knew that it was inevitable, that he'd be in autopsy that night one way or another. And there was no way for Calleigh to have known that it had nothing to do with her.

He went quiet and they both focused on Eric and Calleigh for a minute. They were happy in a genuine way that could get anyone to smile. The way he looked at her, John thought maybe if they'd let their relationship grow a little more he'd let himself look at her the way Eric did. Even when they were dating, he never let himself fall that hard, didn't want to until he saw her looking at him like she does Eric, and she never did. The smile, the look in her eyes, she'd looked at him with a muted version but it was nowhere near as vibrant as with Eric. He was happy that she was happy, after what he put her through, she deserved to be with someone that would take care of her. When he was alive Delko would be the last person he'd approve of, but now, after all the shit both she and Eric went through, he was different, in a good way, in a way he knew she needed. Hagen couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Calleigh like this, or if he'd ever gotten to really know this Calleigh.

"You're not selfish," Speedle said suddenly, "I mean yea, of course it traumatized Calleigh and changed her, but that doesn't make what you went through invalid. I'm not saying putting Calleigh through that is okay, but you already know that so you don't need to hear it again. But you need to know that the way the department treated you, and what Ray ended up leaving on you, isn't okay, and it's a fucked up thing to have to go through. And I'm really sorry you had to go through that."

Hagen hadn't spent much time with Speedle before, they knew each other but had only spoken a handful of times during cases, so he didn't know him well, but he hadn't expected this to come from him, this sympathy, this compassion. But dying changes things, he learned, and everyone changes with it.

"Thank you," he said, looking to Speed, "I know we don't know each other well Tim, but I appreciate it."

He smiled, "we need to be there for eachother, that's what we're supposed to do."

Talking with Speedle was both comforting and heart breaking, comforting because he'd finally been able to talk about this, to tell someone why, but heartbreaking because he knew that the team missed Speedle every day, and he also knew that nobody missed him like that. Nobody thought about him and all the good times like they did Speedle. With him they just saw a suicidal cop that worked with Raymond Caine, and he hated that. It was nobody's fault and he wouldn't go as far as to envy the legacy Tim Speedle left, but he still wished that people remembered him differently, mainly Calleigh. But there was nothing he could do except hope that Eric can give Calleigh the love and comfort and understanding that she deserves. Because having one boyfriend off himself and another leaving her to question whether or not she'd see him again wasn't fair, so she deserved someone that would treat her right, and despite Delko's lost badge incident, both Hagen and Speedle knew he'd never do anything to hurt her.

They both watched as Eric payed the bill(because she'd gotten the last one and she was far too independent to let Eric always grab it) and then held out his hand for her. She couldn't help but pull him into a tight, intimate hug before allowing him to lead her out of the restaurant and to the car. When outside, before he let her open the door, he circled his arm around her waist and pulled her into a soft, sweet kiss. She melted into him almost instantly, lacing her arms around his neck. But he knew he needed to, so regretfully so he broke the kiss, touching his forehead to hers, his hands tracing along her ribs, her spine, feeling the soft skin of her bare back, the black dress she wore backless, the kind of dress that let you know she was going to take the reins tonight. And Eric was A-okay with that. But before he could let that happen, he had one more thing he had to do.

He left a soft, sweet kiss on her lips, his brushing hers only once before he spoke.

"Calleigh," he murmured and she smiled at him, "Eric."

He smiled back, his heart pounding hard in his chest, but the look she gave him fueled his confidence, and before Speed, John, or Calleigh could realize what was happening, he started to go down on one knee and all three of their hearts clenched. Before she could let him get fully on the ground, though, she pulled him back up to her, her hands in his hair and fused their lips together, kissing him hard and hot, one of those breathtaking kisses that answered the question before he'd gotten to ask it. But he wanted to hear her say it, so he pulled himself out of the kiss, both his hands cupping her face, his thumbs rubbing circles over her cheeks.

"Marry me," he murmured, his eyes on hers, his heart out there with nothing to protect it. It was more of a statement than a question, and it made Calleigh pull him back into one of those kisses that were reserved for special occasions.

When she pulled away, their foreheads still touching, she smiled at him, her hands running through his hair.

"Of course," she murmured, "I love you."

Speedle watched Hagen, nervous about how this might affect him, but from what he could tell he was only happy for her. Because she deserved this, she deserved to be happy, she deserved someone that would take care of her, that would put his life on the line for her, that would do anything for her. And she finally got it, someone that would protect her heart from all the pain that was out there. She was happy, and that meant Hagen was happy.

"You okay?" he asked again.

Hagen nodded with a smile, "yea, of course. This is what she deserves."

There was so much that John had left unspoken, so many questions that no one would be able to answer. But Eric was there now, for good, to protect her from whatever other pain that was out there, to make her smile and laugh and feel loved and happy, that would hold her when the bottle she used to bottle everything up bursted, that would do anything to make sure that she was okay.

And despite what people may assume, this is all that John Hagen had ever truly wanted, his dying wish, for someone to come along and help her heal, because after everything she's been through, she deserved someone like Eric. And he hoped that somehow she would know that his death wasn't about her, and that all he wants is for her to heal.


	11. Tease

AN: I know I haven't update literally anything in like forever, but I was working soooo much over the summer and I didn't have time for anything. But my semester just started, so I'll be uploading more. As for the Alias sequel "New Beginnings" I lowkey have writers block, like I have an idea of what imma do but I have writers block for the little scenes and interactions between. But for this fic "Recuerdos" I have a lot of ideas that I'm gonna work on, and probably revist New Beginnings when Criminal Minds season 13 starts in September. Sorry for the long ass AN lol. This fic is a little unrealistic, but it's funny(I think) so I think it should work.

When he was working with the defense he had to video all the CSI's collecting evidence, and of course, at some point during the case, he'd be watching Calleigh. The idea of watching her collect evidence was arousing on its own, and when it finally came to be her turn, she wasn't afraid to be flirty. At the one scene he'd been watching Calleigh collect evidence, her flirtiness with him was out in the open- they'd spent so long not being able to talk because of the investigation she couldn't help but tease when no one was watching. She'd made an effort to walk towards him while he watched her work the scene, made an effort to brush against him and mumble a flirty "excuse me" as she bent over to retrieve evidence, her ass well in his personal space. And Eric had not been able to help but grin and enjoy the view for as long as he could before someone noticed(though he knows it wouldn't be the first time he was caught checking her out). Eric recalled that being a very, _very_ good night.

But this had been weeks ago, Eric had left the defense and was now awaiting his job with the state's attorney. He'd been taking the time between jobs to spend time with his family and with Calleigh when she wasn't at the lab. They'd spent every single night together, either her home or his, but that had been happening ever since the IAB investigation was over and they could talk, despite his working for the defense. Truthfully, he'd never been keen of working for the defense, but he needed a job, he need some sort of income, so he took it. But he couldn't do it, he couldn't live with idea of letting a guilty man walk. So the state's attorney was the next best thing, and there wouldn't be much of an issue with their relationship and IAB.

He'd woken early when Calleigh got out of bed to get ready for work, and she felt bad for waking him, but every morning it was what he looked forward to, he loved watching her, whether at a crime scene or while she got ready, she was always sexy to him. And maybe it was because they couldn't speak for the few weeks during the investigation, but ever since they were allowed to talk he made sure to follow her into the kitchen and wrap his arms around her, snuggling his face into her hair. And it's not like people _didn't_ know about them, it just had never interfered with their jobs, so no one said anything.

But all secrets come out at some point, and it's usually embarrassing and you don't even realize what's happening until it's too late. So when Ryan had asked to see Erics evidence video to clean up some loose ends, he thought nothing of it. But when he was in the video room at the lab with Ryan, Walter, and Jesse, and they got to the part with Calleigh's evidence collection, he damn near died realizing their secret flirtatiousness was about to not be so secret.

All four of them watched as Calleigh strutted towards him with one of _those_ smiles. Jesse stifled a laugh and glanced at Eric, whose head was currently down, looking at the floor. Ryan awkwardly cleared his throat when he watched her brush against Eric and when she started bending over, Eric was the one to clear his throat, "I uh, I don't think there's anything useful here."

All three of them looked at Eric, trying to hold back their laughs, as he yanked out the USB.

Walter was the first to speak, "alright Delko, I see you," he laughed, patting him on the back. Eric was quiet, unsure of how to respond other than awkwardly insisting that the tape had no noteworthy evidence regarding their case and that they speak of this to no one.

"at least we know now why Calleigh's been a little late to scenes," Jesse teased..

Everyone laughed and Eric cleared his throat uncomfortably, "seriously," he said making eye contact with everyone in the room for the first time, "we speak of this to no one."

"it's not like it was some secret, Delko," Ryan smirked, "but I never thought I'd see this side of Calleigh."

"You saw nothing," Eric insisted sternly. But that didn't stop everyone from smirking at him, and he _knew_ they'd never let him live this down, and he also knew if Calleigh _ever_ found out about this she'd never let him live it down either and he'd probably end up in the morgue or the ER if he was lucky.

He was certain everyone had taken a look at her ass at some point or another, but she'd never flaunted it at anyone, especially at a crime scene, with the exception, of course, of Eric.

He tucked the USB drive in his pocket, and then of all people, _Valera_ walked into the room in search of Ryan about some DNA results. But before she got a word out her attention was caught by the four in the room. They all looked guilty of something, like teenagers that got caught stealing or arrested for trespassing.

"What are you doing?" She asked suspiciously, noting Eric was the only one of the four that looked like he'd seen a ghost.

"Nothing," they all said at the same time.

"Mhmhm," She quirked, "well, I came to tell you I found a match in CODIS for the DNA under the vics nails," she walked into the room and handed Ryan the results, "the man just got out of prison a few weeks ago."

Ryan nodded, flipping through the file, "thanks Valera."

She nodded walking back to the door, but before she left she spun around, "I will find out what you're hiding." And then she was gone and Ryan bursted out laughing, Walter and Jesse following behind him.

"Yea, yea, yea," Eric said, "laugh it up, at least I have someone to sleep next to," with that he turned on his heal, hoping Calleigh wouldn't find out about his last comment(and the tape) and then leaving the three CSI's alone and offended, to his satisfaction.

"Well damn," Walter said, "that shit hurt."

Ryan smirked, "what do you know about girls, Walter?"

"I was a ladies man in college Wolfe, girls were crawling _all_ _over me._ "

"Oh yea? What happened to _that_ Walter?" Jesse questioned.

"Ohhh," Ryan laughed, acting like they were still in high school with their banter.

"Ouch man, that hurts," Walter frowned, putting his hand over his heart.

Before anyone could get another word out, Calleigh opened the glass door and stuck her head in, searching for Eric. She noticed their demeanor at first glance and it _immediately_ reminded her of highschool boys in the locker room. Guys never do grow out of the male banter.

"What are you three up to?" She asked suspiciously, and when they looked up and saw her, the color drained from their faces, and her suspicion and curiosity only grew.

"y'all look like you've seen a ghost," she cocked an eyebrow, "what are you doing?"

"Nothing," all three said at once. But truthfully, none of them had ever _never_ in a _million years_ thought they'd see the all put together Calleigh Duquesne _seducing_ someone. It's not like they didn't know that the ever so dominant Calleigh was probably a complete tease in bed, but it's entirely different to actually _see_ it. Good or bad, it makes you look at someone a little different for a while.

"Mhm," she watched them closely, eyeing them trying to figure something, anything out.

"Did you need something Cal?" Ryan asked, crossing his arms over his chest, wanting to break the awkward silence.

"I'm looking for Eric, have you seen him?"

The three of them didn't move when they heard her mention Eric, just uncomfortably glanced at each other, but, much to their relief, she was quiet about their uncomfort and was more curious in finding Eric than figure out why the guys are acting like nut jobs.

Jesse awkwardly cleared his throat, "I uh, I think he went to DNA."

She watched them suspiciously, "thanks," she said, eyeing them through the glass door as she walked away. She barely got a few feet from the tech lab when Eric turned the corner and found himself almost running into her. His hand rested on her upper arm for a minute longer than normal for someone embracing who they've run into.

"Oh, hey," he said with a smile.

"Hey to you too," she smiled backed, "What's going on with the guys? They're acting weirder than usual."

She watched Erics demeanor change the same way that Jesse's, Ryan's, and Walter's had. Now she was really curious, almost concerned to be honest.

"And you're acting weird too. Eric what's going on?"

"What, nothing," he insisted, "What's up with you?"

She sighed and pursed her lips, deciding to let whatever was going on go... for now.

"Nothing," she smiled sweetly, "But I do need your help. DNA from under my vics nails was a no go in CODIS. There's something wrong with the boyfriend, but he refused DNA and prints. He knows I'm on the case but he doesn't know _you,_ so I was thinking maybe... "

"Ah," Eric smiled, "you want me to play the sympathetic cop. Make him comfortable."

She showed him the pocket size pack of tissues on top of her folder, "maybe get some DNA?"

He chuckled sweetly, "alright where's this kid, what's he got to do with it?"  
"He found his girlfriend dead, and as far as we can tell he was the last person to have seen him. He had blood on him but he... didn't look like he did it."

"What do you mean, he just forgot the murder?" Eric scoffed.

"That's what he's saying, but he's genuinely torn up about it, I think he'll talk to you."

Eric nodded, "alright," he said, subtly brushing his hand against hers, "bring you the DNA?"  
She shook her head, "No, give it to Valera I've uh...," she gave him _that_ smile, "I've got something planned."  
He cocked an eyebrow, grateful very few people were here this late into the day, "yea? What's that?"

"You'll see," her eyes said everything, "My place... Use your key."  
He smirked, "alright," he murmured, "see you soon." He stood with her a little longer than he should have for someone going the opposite direction. But then they separated, Calleigh going home to... get ready, Eric going to make a possible murderer cry. But Ryan, Walter, and Jesse were still in the tech lab, and neither Calleigh nor Eric knew that they were standing by a camera _with_ audio, that was currently live streaming in the tech lab, along with several other cameras, except this was one of the few with audio recording, so they heard pretty much _everything._ And if anything it only made the three question what they were doing or, mainly, _weren't doing,_ in their love lives.


	12. The Pier

AN: Set season 8 when it comes out that he'd been wearing a wire for the district attorney and almost got killed in a car bomb.

It was the end of a very hard and emotional day for everyone at the lab, especially between Eric and Calleigh. He'd lost her trust, and that was something he'd always held sacred to him, something he'd promised she'd never lose. But she had and Eric regretted everything, regretted not telling her; he just didn't want her to get caught up in this entire mess. He didn't want her to be searched through and questioned, and it was best that she stayed out of this, for her and the labs sake. But something he would never do is wear a wire when it was just the two of them alone like this, standing next to each other on a pier that overlooked the ocean.

The sun was setting and they both leaned against the wooden fence on the pier and watched the oranges and yellows of the sun reflect against the ocean as darkness took over the sky. Watching the sunset with Calleigh was something that they'd do together after a particularly hard case or when they needed to talk about something important. It was their safe place, a place where fighting was prohibited, a place they could talk genuinely and openly with one another, a place where they were completely honest with each other. No lying, no secrets, no anger masking true feelings. Just Eric and Calleigh.

"I know it's going to take a while for me to earn back you trust," he said to her, his hand brushing hers, "but I'll do whatever it takes."  
She smiled, grateful to have someone so willing to do anything to make things okay between the two of them, no matter what had happened. And Calleigh hadn't had that before, and it was something she was still adjusting to, but she couldn't ever imagine losing it now. And when she'd seen the car blow up... had the wind not blown the paper out of his hands... they wouldn't be standing here together right now. How many more times are they going to almost lose eachother until they actually do?

She sighed a little, lacing their hands together as she leaned against the wood and watched the little fish swim. "I'm not mad about the wire," she told him, "I know you couldn't tell anyone, not even me, but... Eric, you were digging into deep, deep stuff at the lab and you almost died because of it...," she let out a shaky sigh, "I've almost lost you _so_ many times over the years, I _can't_ lose you Eric, I just..." she hoped he didn't notice the one lone tear that skated down her face. He did though, of course he did, but knew not to comment on it, and instead moved closer to her, squeezing her hand, reassuring her that he was here with her and okay. "I wish you'd have told me _something,"_ her eyes met his, "So I could at least _know_ that you were up to something you couldn't talk about."

Eric knew that all feelings of betrayal she felt were completely valid, but he also knew that had he told her _anything_ , it

would only put her in danger, and that was something he refused to let happen.

"Someone made a car bomb meant for Nevins and me," he said, "and if you hadn't followed me, if you hadn't stopped me... I'd be dead right now, Cal. If you knew about the case we were working there might have been a car bomb for you too, to tie up loose ends. I couldn't stand to lose you Calleigh, I'd hate myself forever if something happened to you because I told you about my case against all direction from the States Attorney, If something happened to you Calleigh," he snaked his arm around her hip and pulled her close, "if something happened to you because of _me_ , I wouldn't be able to live with myself. It was the only way I could keep you guys safe, and Horatio and I thought it would be best to have me investigate opposed to people that know nothing about our team," he turned his head into her hair, "I love you Calleigh, you're my everything," he told her, "and I'd do whatever it takes to keep you in my life as my partner at work, my best friend, my girl. I'd do whatever it takes to keep you by my side forever."

She turned her head, her nose brushing his, their lips a breath apart.

"Eric, Eric, Eric" she said with a sweet smile, her eyes closing, "you've always had a way of getting under my skin," her hand cupped his face, "I've always told myself, 'no falling in love with your coworkers.' And then you came around."

Eric pressed his mouth to hers, a slow, intimate brushing of lips. Her hands ran through his long hair and he desperately wanted to deepen the kiss but they were off the clock cops in public and a PDA charge wouldn't be good for either of them, so she pulled back and watched him.

"You love me?" He asked with a smile.

She gave a playful sigh, "you already know the answer to that question."  
"I know, but I like to hear you say."

She smiled and kissed him softly, "I love you," she told him and he smiled, their foreheads touching. She closed her eyes for a second before looking up to him, "It's not that I don't trust you," she told him, "I trust you more than anyone. It just hurts... having you lie to me, having you put yourself in danger. I know you couldn't tell me, Eric I just..." she sighed, her hand on his cheek, "I wish you could have... I wish the States Attorney hadn't put you in that position. I just want all of this to be over and for things to go back to normal and for you to be safe. I want you to come back to the lab.."

He looked deep into her eyes, "is that what you want? For me to come back."  
"Well of course Eric, but that's not the question, it's whether you want to come back to the lab.

He nodded, "I know," he smiled sweetly, "me too."

She grinned and bit a little at her lip, one hand reaching to lace with his, "how about I take you home, show you how much I love you."

He chuckled, "oh yea?"

Her grin widened, "yea. Maybe pull out that garter belt you like so much..."  
"Mmhmm," Eric murmured, pulling her so he could nuzzle her hair, "I think we should get going..."

She snickered and he grinned and hand in hand they walked off the pier together, all forgiven but the wound still tender. It would take some time to completely heal, but they'd inevitably heal together and it would only bring them closer. When you truly love someone you do whatever you can to keep them in your life, no matter what difficulties come with it.


End file.
